| RETROGAMING COMMERCIAL VAULT |
| by Adam King |
Gather around, gamers,
'cause it's time for another double dose of TV commercial goodness. This month's
column is several things in one. When I started working on the Commercial Vault
CD, I decided against simply gathering all the ads I downloaded and burning them
to a CD. I decided to actually record my own clips so everyone can enjoy them
without special programs. One upside is I discovered some ads that are NOT
available on the internet. I decided this month to give you a sneak peek at two
of the exclusive ads you won't find anywhere else.
The two ads I decided on are Gyruss and Q*Bert. Both of these are arcade
classics put out for all the major systems by Parker Bros. Both these games have
also been covered by Alan Hewston's "Many Faces Of", so this is also a make-up
column as well.
Gyruss
Thus unusual ad is out to show how Gyruss
is more exciting than other space shooters. First they show bored kids playing
"other" shooters, then this ad shows a gameplayer spinning in midair to keep up
with the ship on the screen.
"There are space games, and there are space games."
"Now, there's Gyruss, hot from the arcade. Nothing moves like Gyruss. It's
planet by planet warfare, you're attacked by enemy ships, satellites, and
meteors in a relentless search for, uh... then more enemy ships, more
satellites, more meteors. Now you can buy [other space shooters], or buy Gyruss,
the more hyper space game."
"I'm so bored playing Star Ship."
"This game's so fun I'm spinning in my seat."
Everybody now: "Dizzy..I'm so dizzy.."
Maybe a black hole landed in his living room.
Makes you wonder if the power goes out while he's in mid-air, doesn't it?
Q*Bert
This animated spot features Q*Bert as he
gets in shape for his home video game. He talks about being an arcade star while
we watch gameplay footage from the Colecovision version. What does we have to
say about his success? Let's let the man himself explain.
"I'm Q*Bert, and I've got all the right moves. I've got the legs, too. First an
arcade game, now my own home video game. I'm ready for anything. Staying away
from creeps like Ugh and Coily takes a quick mind, and lots of fancy footwork.
The longer I hop around, the more they're out to get me. UGGHH! When they said
fame would go to my head, they weren't kidding."
"Now for all popular systems."
"It's not easy being Q*Bert, but it's fun."
This is how the Q-man stays in shape.
Gettin' ready to jump on the pyramids.
Q*Bert after a hard day with the boys.
Another shot of the icon himself.
You'll be happy to know Q*Bert doesn't say the word @!#?@!. Instead he says @!?!
on the Colecovision screen.
That's all for this month. I hope this gives you a taste of what's to come.
There are other ads, but I'm going to keep them under wraps for now.
I now want to address the possibility of covering Nintendo ads in the 'Vault,
now that Tom has decided to include Nintendo and Sega coverage in the
newsletter. If you think I should go ahead with this, let me know.
Happy holidays, everyone, and I'll be back in 31 days for more commercials.